Swimming

I have yet to go swimming in the ocean or a pool this trip, but today I swam in duck shit. 

Syd and I played golf at the Poipu Bay Golf Course this afternoon. It was a totally normal round, and I was determined to get a photo of us on the course using self timer. Here is the best one that I captured on the 10th hole. 

The 11th hole on the course is a par 3 over a pond that is home to many ducks and birds. It is common to hit balls in the water. Syd hit two and I hit one, so Syd went down to fish them out of the hazard. The ponds here in Hawaii are lined with black, slippery, tarps of death. Syd had one foot in, fished out two balls with his putter, but then all of a sudden he had two feet in the water, and then he was sliding, and then his arms and legs were splashing, full body submerged.

“Help, Help!”

Syd was trying to get out, but kept slipping down the tarp, so I ran over and crouched down to grab on to his putter to pull him out. I give the putter a pull, but both my feet are on the slippery tarp, and I’m sliding, and then both my feet are out from under me and I am splashing around, full body in the water. Shoes, clothes, watch, all of it. Fml. 

Somehow Syd slithered up the black tarp, grabbed on to some of the lava rocks, and I grabbed on to his foot. My belly is sliding down the tarp, back into the water, but then Syd saves the day by doing a hamstring curl to pull me back to shore. 

I am hysterically laughing, Syd is not laughing yet. 

“Where is my putter?”

“I lost it in the pond, it slid out of my hand.”

For the record, Syd LOVES his $500 putter. 

“I’m going back in!”

And before I know it, Syd is swimming in the pond. I couldn’t believe he went in twice!

Syd goes under the water, swims a bit and comes back up, putter in hand. 

“I lost my contact!”

Of course! But we traded a $400 contact for a $500 putter so it worked out. I could not stop laughing. The scenario kept getting crazier and crazier. I was soaking wet and covered in duck poo and dirt, but of course I insisted on taking a photo to document. 

We couldn’t finish our round in this shape, so we drove the wet drive back to the club house of shame. Luckily, we parked in a back lot and not many people saw that we were drenched, but we have decided that we are going to follow a self imposed uninvitation to the Poipu Bay Golf Course for at least a year. 

Now Syd and I can’t stop laughing about it. A Kauai memory for the books. (And I am tempted to use the photo on our Christmas card.)