Remembering My Mom

 To honor my mom's anniversary this year I wrote a poem.  It is called The View From the Bench. 

Sitting on the bench.

Looking at the view,

Most people see the ocean and Half Moon Bay,

But instead, all I see is what is missing.

You.

I think about the 15 short years we had together.

Birthdays, holidays, ordinary days.

I think about the 23 long years apart. 

Birthdays, holidays, ordinary days.

I can’t help but wonder, 

Would you recognize me?

Everything has changed.

I take comfort in knowing,

My heart and ponytail are the same. 

At this time of year,

I usually brace for sorrow and pain. 

My shoulders hunched and my fists clenched.

The grief takes me out like the tide

And I feel like I am going under.

This February 4th,

I am sitting and breathing,

Trying to rewrite an old pattern.

With every breath I imagine your love flowing through me,

Reminding me that no matter how strong the waves of grief,

I always pop back to the surface.

The sun peeks through the clouds.

I feel it on my face.

I miss you mom.

Thanks for the view,

And your warm embrace.