Remembering

Usually February 4th is the day of the year I have a heavy heart while I remember my mother's passing, but lately in the midst of wedding planning, I have been feeling a little more emotional than usual. I surprised myself on the day I went wedding dress shopping with how cheated I felt that I wasn't able to share the experience with my mom. I didn't expect to feel that way or to need Syd to have to hold me to calm me down before I left. Every girl imagines that trip to the dress store with her mom and it really bothered me that I didn't get to have that experience. However, I don't want my friends who helped me that day to misinterpret this feeling of missing out on a life experience as being ungrateful that they came with me. Sometimes you don't have to be related by blood to be family. Life isn't always how you envisioned it when you are a child. I am learning this throughout my wedding planning process.

My stepmom reminded me today that while doing wedding research at a local hotel, we were given abusiness card with the name Kearney on it. I immediately said "That's my mother's name." It was even spelled correctly. Kristin and I both agreed that it was a small sign that she was there with us.


I miss you, Mom. Thanks for looking down on me. Syd and I both want you there with us next November and I know you will be any way you can.